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"The Ruler of The Twelfth House, A Mystery"

The True Story of a Search

 

THREE
By Tennessee Williams

One I kept
Two I lost
Three is shelter'd under frost.
One I tired of
Two still waited.
Three the starry meadows haunted.
One was faithful
Two was clever
Three stayed in my heart forever.

 

The interviews, which lead to the creation of "In Touch With His Soul," concluded one afternoon on a spring day in 1983.  Author and parapsychologist Dr. Gina Cermina had conducted an extensive three-day biographical interview with me. She had been assigned this project for a major parapsychology magazine.  During our interview, Gina became personally interested in my life story and decided she wanted to write my biography. What you have read of "In Touch With His Soul" may actually be considered Gina's notes for that uncompleted biography, uncompleted because during the process of creating this project Miss Cerminara was suddenly stricken with cancer and died in her home in Ojai, California on April 16th of 1984.

Gina was fashioning my story around an intriguing riddle told to my mother at age eight, by a Gypsy at a county fair in 1924:

"You shall never know wealth,
Nor have good health,
At twenty-four,
A tall man at your door

He will always love thee,
Through eternity
Tears for three
Then shall come to be,
A blessed Magi to comfort thee'

Twenty- seven has come,
It is time to run
The tall man to be,
Has a taste for whiskey

Seven years more,
Through a very black door
Two men more,
Red and Gray,
Block happiness in your pathway

The worst you will see will come five plus three
Unable to flee,
A bed and a blanket,
A shroud to thee

White feathers, white feathers everywhere
Tears and sorrow for you, beware!
For the time has come for your greatest despair
Should you survive?

Then you shall once again see,
The tall man who has loved you for eternity
Heart broken,
Heart mended,

Thrice to be."

 

Those of you who have read "In Touch With His Soul" are aware that this riddle uncannily prophesized my mother's life and death. Both Gina and I deciphered its meanings during our extensive interview.  Only one segment of the poem went unsolved:"Tears for three." Gina and I ended our interview scratching our heads over this phrase. I left that day with the promise that I would contact Gina if and when the day would come in which I could interpret the meaning of this specific phrase and thus solve the riddle. In July of 1995, I did solve the mystery of that riddle. I am now keeping my promise to Gina and am telling the story of my finding and sharing it with you. It is the story of family lies, a remarkable mystery and an amazing search. In some instances names have been changed. Otherwise, it is entirely true.  I call this story, "The Ruler of The Twelfth House, The True Story of a Search." I consider this to be the completion and conclusion to "In Touch With His Soul."

 

"Tears For Three"

Chapter One of the Conclusion to In Touch With His Soul

I was ten years old when I discovered that Marilyn was my sister. Although I had known her since my very first recognitions, I had prior to this discovery always thought her to be an older cousin. She had been raised since birth by my maternal grandparents, whereas I by our mutual birth mother. We had shared many holidays and summer vacations together throughout our youth and yet until the age of ten I had never so much as assumed Marilyn's true identity.

During the year of 1952 my mother was bedridden, a victim of Rheumatic Fever while also trying to recover from a recent open-heart surgery. I was sent to live the year with mother's youngest sister Lorraine and her family. While Christmas shopping that December my aunt asked me to buy a gift for Marilyn.

"But why?" I asked. "I never buy Christmas presents for Marilyn."

"Don't be so selfish," my aunt said. "Marilyn is your sister. The least you can do is buy her a nice gift."

I was so surprised and overtaken by her remark that I went into shock right there in the department store and I cried and cried for several days after. It seemed to me impossible that the mother who I so adored could have given a child away. In my youthful innocence I could not so much as imagine how such a horrific thing could have occurred. My idealism and naivety was so great that I could not even imagine my mother to have ever had sexual relationships with a man, my father or otherwise. I assumed that mothers went to their doctor's office where the doctor kept babies and that he handed them the child they were to take home and call their own. I considered myself far too wise to believe in the silly 'stork theory.' That day my aunt explained to me otherwise and I was heartbroken by her words of truth. The information she had shared was so abhorrent to me that I buried it inside my heart and never spoke of what I had learned.  I never once questioned my mother regarding the information I had been told for I was afraid of hurting and embarrassing her. For those very same reasons I never once deeply questioned Marilyn either until I was fifty years old. During my later teen years we confessed to each other that we were aware we two were siblings. However, it was not until my fiftieth year in the summer of 1993 that I fully revealed the information I had been given when I had been ten years old. The circumstances of this sharing occurred when my half-sister paid me an unexpected visit that year.

Our mother's name was Julia Welch. When Marilyn was born, she had been unmarried so at that time she went by her maiden name of Cardoza, of course. Mama died on February 18, 1973 from complications following her third heart surgery. Although we had exchanged yearly Christmas and birthday cards, Marilyn and I had not had more than three visits between us since that time. Because of this fact, I was surprised yet delighted when Marilyn telephoned me asking if she and our cousin Irene could come and pay me a visit.

My cousin Irene was anybody's idea of the perfect 'favorite cousin.' There was never a dull moment with Cousin Irene. Her humor was infectious. She was witty, loud and terribly funny. My mother had adored her.  Irene and Marilyn were both the same age, five years older than I. As a child I had envied their closeness. They seemed more like sisters than cousins. Whenever they were together they were inseparable and had remained that way throughout the years.

"Of course you can come and visit," I said. "Come and spend the day and stay for dinner."

She agreed, and so on a Thursday afternoon one day in June of 1993 they arrived. My partner Pat, wonderful chef that he is, prepared a special prime rib roast with all the trimmings. After several cocktails, conversation turned to family remembrances of times long past. My mother had been Irene's favorite aunt. Marilyn (despite the fact that she had been raised by her mother's parents rather than Julia herself) had adored her too. That evening we lovingly reminisced about Mom and shared our personal memories of her.

"When did you first realize that I was your sister?" Marilyn asked matter of factly.

"I was ten years old at the time," I answered. "When did you discover that I was your half-brother?" I asked in return.

"I've known that fact for almost as long as I can remember," she replied. "Grandma told me when I was a child. I must have been around eight or nine years old."

"Marilyn, do you know who your father was?" I asked. "It is none of my business of course, but I have always wondered."

"Yes, Grandma told me who he was the day she told me you and I were siblings," she answered. "His name is Jimmy Castro. He worked for Southern Pacific Railroad in Tracy. What his job was with the railroad I do not know?"

"Was he a married man that Mom was having an affair with?" I asked.

"I have no idea. I never met him. I did know where he lived when I was a kid though," she said. "I looked up his address in the telephone book. I guess I was about ten years old. I was a Girl Scout at that time. One afternoon when I was selling Girl Scout Cookies I braved up the courage to walk up to his front door with the pretense of trying to sell my cookies. The truth was I wanted to see what he looked like. However, I chickened out at the last moment. After I rang his doorbell I became so frightened that I ran from his yard without once looking back. Now of course I wish I had waited for the door to open to have been able to see what he looked like if only for one time. But back then I said to myself, 'Why the hell should I care about him. He doesn't care about me. We live in the same town, Tracy, California. He could have made contact with me if he had wanted to.'"

"Maybe he didn't know about you?" I offered.

"Perhaps not. I didn't think of that at the time," she answered.

"Did you ever ask Mom anything about him?" I asked.

"No. For some strange reason I never did," she replied. "I suppose that I was afraid that my questions would hurt or embarrass her.  She was always so ill that I didn't want to do anything to upset her."

"I understand," I replied. "I never asked any questions of her either for that very reason. Everybody loved Mom and did everything they could to protect her. The ironic thing is that we hurt ourselves by not asking the questions only she had the answers to·like who was Jimmy Castro? Did you love him?"

"Yes", Marilyn answered, "If I had it to do over again I would have asked these questions. It just didn't seem right at the time. I know nothing more about the man then what I have shared with you."

"When Aunt Lorraine told me that you were my sister she never once mentioned your father's name. She told me two totally contradictory stories regarding your birth. I'm certain they were both lies and that she created these stories so that I would be sympathetic towards Mom."

"What were the stories Lorraine told you?" Marilyn asked.

"The first story she told me was that Mom was ill and hospitalized when you were born. She said that Mom was ill with Rheumatic Fever, that it had damaged her heart, and that she was confined in the hospital for almost two years before she was able to leave there and return home again. Lorraine said that you had been left in the care of Grandma and Grandpa and when Mom was finally released from the hospital she came to get you but that you refused to go home with her because by then so much time had passed that you thought that Grandma and Grandpa were your true parents. Naturally I assumed that my father was also your father when she related this story. As I said before, I was too young to calculate dates and events or consider the fact that Mama hadn't married my father yet."

Marilyn laughed for a moment before saying, "Lorraine's story sounds logical? Tell me the other one!"

I continued, "I cannot remember why Lorraine contradicted herself by relating this other story regarding your birth. Perhaps she thought I did not believe the first story she had told me. This all happened so many years ago that I can no longer remember exactly what happened that day. The second story was far more fantastic and even more tragic than the first. Lorraine told me that Mom had been one of the contestants in a beauty pageant at the San Joaquin County Fair. She said that Mom won first prize. Later that evening, according to Lorraine's story, one of the judges of the beauty pageant raped Julie. Lorraine contradicted herself by confusing what she called rape with what was more likely Julie's own sexual consent by stating that 'Julia had no idea where babies came from. We were all sexually ignorant back in those days. Our parents never discussed sexual matters with us kids. Several months after the rape, Julie couldn't understand why she was gaining weight. When our parents noticed the considerable weight gain it was obvious to them that she was pregnant. Your grandfather was outraged and threatened to kill the man who had raped his daughter. In order to protect the man Julie refused to give your grandfather his name.'"

"This story is even better than the first one," Marilyn said laughing. "If Julie was raped why in the world wouldn't she give the man's name?"

" You're right. That's exactly what I mean. Aunt Lorraine's contradictions make this story seem preposterous," I replied. " However, in my innocence I chose to believe parts of both of these stories. I did not want to see Mom as anything but perfect. Now, as an adult I realize how foolish these stories were, but they won my sympathy for Mom and because of them I never questioned her about you."

"Well, as I said, I never questioned Julie either," Marilyn answered. "All I know is what Grandma told me when I asked her who my father was.  She gave me the original copy of my birth certificate that day. The name of Jimmy Castro is typed in where it asks 'who is the father of this child?' I expected this matter of my birth to come up during this visit. If you had not brought the matter up I intended too. Actually Irene and I planned this visit to discuss this matter as well as something else that is related to it. I brought a copy of my original certificate of birth for you to have," Marilyn said as she reached into her purse and passed me the document.

As I reached to take it from her hand she stopped me from doing so by clutching it firmly between her fingers. "Wait!" she cautioned. "I am going to warn you that you are going to be upset when you read this document. There is some information contained on this record that has been withheld from you all your life. I didn't want to hurt you or to destroy the love you feel towards your mother and so I kept this a secret from you. However, I feel guilty that I have withheld this information from you because it is your right to know about it. I guess I was hoping either Bud or Julia would let you know about this before they died but they never did, and so the unpleasant task is left to me.  I hope you will not be angry with me. I have only hidden this information to protect you, Wally. Please believe me and don't be angry that I have waited so long to present this. I still don't know if I am doing the right thing by you. However, I feel I owe you the truth no matter how you take it."

Although I was confused by her words I was deeply apprehensive regarding what it was she was about to tell me. I took a deep breath as Marilyn handed me her birth certificate.  I took the document from her hand and held it beneath the lighted candle on the dining table to read its contents. I read it twice before looking at her questioningly and stating, "I don't understand. It just mentions the hospital you were born in, your birth date, weight, and your parent's names. Yes, I see the name Jimmy Castro is listed here."

"You did not read it thoroughly," Marilyn replied. "Read the bottom line."

Once again I held the birth certificate to the candles light. I scanned the document to the last line on the paper which read, 'How many living children proceeded this child's birth? Written in someone's hand was the answer, 'One female child.'  

I dropped the document on the table and looked across the table at my sister. At first I could not speak.  Marilyn placed her hand into mine and squeezed it tightly.  She had a deeply concerned look upon her face and I realized that my reaction to the news I had received had most likely frightening her.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

I dumbly shook my head 'yes' and then said somewhat disbelievingly, "Oh my God, Marilyn. Your birth certificate says that Mom already had one living daughter before you were born! That is not possible! How can that be possible?"

I looked into her eyes pleadingly as if begging her to tell me that what I had discovered was not true. "This cannot be true, Marilyn. Do you believe this is true?"

Marilyn looked me directly in the eye and slowly shook her head 'yes' in reply.

"I can't believe this!" I stammered. "Mom could not have given a child away. I cannot believe this!"

"Wally, don't forget that Julie gave me away" Marilyn replied quietly.

I stood up and stared into her face not knowing what to say and then I ran from the dining room and into the bathroom where I quickly wet a hand towel and placed it over my face. I listened as I heard myself say, "I'm going to be sick! I'm going to be sick!"

A moment or two later I heard someone knocking on the guest bathroom door. "Are you all right? Wally, please come out. Are you all right?" Both Marilyn and Irene were pleading with me to answer.

Embarrassed by my emotional reaction I drew a few long, deep breaths to compose myself and then I opened the door and stated, "Yes, I'm all right." I then walked into the living room and sat by the fireplace as they, along with Pat, joined me.

"Marilyn, you must tell me, please. Who is this girl? What do you know about her? Is she still alive?" I asked.

Marilyn moved from across the room and sat beside me putting her arm around my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Wally," she sighed. "I really know nothing about her."

"Did you tell Grandma that you knew about her, that you knew from the information on your birth certificate that you had a sister?" I asked.

"Yes, yes I did," Marilyn answered. "But you know how Grandma was about gossip?" she stated.

"No, I don't know what you mean. How was Grandma about gossip?" I asked,

"How could you have forgotten?" she replied. "Grandma's philosophy was that if you didn't have something good to say about somebody then say nothing at all. When I questioned her about this other child she said to me, 'Curiosity killed the cat! Keep you nose out of other people's business!  If you poke your nose into other people's business it might get snapped off!  This matter is none of your business!'"

"And you accepted that for an answer?" I asked.

"What choice did I have?" Marilyn replied. "Grandma's final word was her final word. You know that. I could have asked the same question over and over till I was blue in the face and she would never have budged an inch."

"Yes, that's true. I remember how stubborn and secretive she was," I replied.

"I think our cousin Connie Vierra might know something about who this girl is," Marilyn commented. She was referring to our mother's second-oldest sister's daughter. "As you know, Connie owns a beauty parlor in Tracy. Like most beauticians she is privy to just about every juicy piece of gossip going around. Several years ago Connie told me that there was a rumor in Tracy that a certain woman in town is the child our mother gave up for adoption. Connie said that this woman and two of her daughters used to be clients of hers. Connie said that one-day she personally confronted this woman with the rumor that she was Julie's illegitimate child who was given up for adoption. According to Connie the woman became angry and denied the accusation and then stormed out of the beauty parlor curlers and all and never again stepped foot in her shop, nor did her two daughters."

"Well who could blame her? That was pretty tactless way for Connie to handle the situation," I commented.

"Well," Marilyn continued, "The fact of the matter is that the woman Connie questioned had been adopted at birth. Everybody in Tracy was aware of that fact."

I paused for a moment and then asked, "Is it possible? Do you think that maybe this woman is our sister?"

"Who knows?" Marilyn replied. "The woman denied the allegation so we just have to accept that."

"But who is she? What is her name?" I asked.

"I have no idea," Marilyn replied, "Connie refused to give me the woman's name. The situation I just told you of happened many, many years ago. Connie and I have never spoken of it since."

I looked into my sister's eyes in disbelief and said, "But how can you accept not knowing? Why didn't you insist that Connie give you this lady's name for God sake? After all she could be our sister and Connie might be the only person in the world who knows who she is."

"I did question her, Wally. I did try to make her give me the woman's name, believe me I did, but Connie refused. She said, 'Tracy is a small town and gossip gets around too easily here. I refuse to tell you who this woman is because I could get myself into a lot of trouble. She comes from a powerful family and she warned me that I had best stop this rumor for my own good. My business started to drop off shortly after this incident. Several of my clients cancelled their appointments and never came back. The clients that did cancel with me were all friends of this woman and her family.' Connie also said that one evening she and her husband Earl went out to dinner at a popular local restaurant. When she and Earl walked into the restaurant the woman she was talking about and her husband were in the middle of finishing their dinners when Connie and Earl were seated. The moment this woman saw that Connie and Earl were in the same room with them, both she and her husband immediately left the restaurant, meals unfinished!"

"I think Connie owes us the right to know this woman's name. We could look into this matter discreetly without getting her involved," I stated.

"Save your breath," Marilyn answered. "Connie is just as stubborn as Grandma was. You will never get this woman's name out of her. I gave up trying to get her to tell me the name of this woman because I knew Connie was genuinely afraid to become further involved in this matter. I didn't feel I had the right to further upset her. Besides I'm sure there must be dozens of adopted people living in Tracy. Connie stated that she fully believes that this woman is not our mother's child."

"But Connie doesn't know that for a fact. There is a possibility that she could be our sister. That is not for Connie to decide. We have the right to decide that for ourselves," I pleaded.

Marilyn removed her arm from my shoulder and took my hand into hers. "Stop for a moment and think about this. I don't think it is very likely this mystery woman is our sister because it doesn't seem very logical that she would have been adopted out into a family that lived in the very same small town as our mother and her parents. Isn't it more likely she would have been sent away to another town or state far, far away?" she asked.

"Yes, yes, that does seem more logical," I agreed.

"However, I also have to tell you that Connie admitted that this lady looks a great deal like Julie. That is the one part that has always bothered me."

"Is that so?" I asked. "That fact bothers me too Marilyn. This whole matter bothers me more than you could know," I replied. "Something deep inside me makes me think this woman is our missing sister."

We sat is silence for a moment before Marilyn continued. "I am sorry that I waited this long to tell you about this. I was afraid of your reaction. Have I done the wrong thing by letting you know about our sister? " she asked in a tone of true sincerity.

"No, Marilyn. You did the right thing by telling me. I am so shocked to know that our mother could do such a heartless thing as to give a child away for adoption. As you know I loved her more then words could ever say.  I am terribly ashamed to have discovered that she could have given her babies away·not once, but twice. What kind of woman was she really? I am hurt and I am angry. I feel she betrayed me and I am disgusted with her behavior and very angry at her." I paused for a moment and then added, "How naive I am! Why should I be so shocked? She did the same thing to you! Oh God, Marilyn, what kind of person was she really?"

"I would like to answer that," my cousin Irene interrupted. She hadn't spoken in a long while and I had almost forgotten that she was in the room with us. "I damn well loved Julie as much as the two of you and so I would like to say a few things in her defense. First of all I want to remind you that your mother had been told from the time she was a child that she was not expected to live to the age of eighteen. She had been born, what was then called, a 'Blue Baby.'  I don't know what that is exactly but it had something to do with not having enough oxygen in her system at the time of birth. This fact in itself weakened her heart and that condition was further disturbed when as a small child she contacted Rheumatic Fever. From that point on Julie would never have a healthy heart again."

"We know all of this, Irene," I interrupted.

"Wait! Let me finish! I have more to say," she demanded. "If my mathematics are correct, Julie was twenty-two when Marilyn was born. Julie was born in 1916 and Marilyn was born in 1938."

"Yes, that would have made her twenty-two at the time I was born," my sister answered.

"Well, we have no exact date as to when this other daughter was born but it is likely she was born somewhere between 1932 to 1937 and so we can assume that Julie gave birth to this child somewhere between her sixteenth and twenty-first years. I wonder if it is possible that Jimmy Castro was also this child's father?" Irene asked.

"I have no idea," Marilyn replied. After answering Irene, Marilyn turned to me and asked, "Do you think it is possible that the story Aunt Lorraine told you about Julie being raped by a judge at The San Joaquin County Fair Beauty Pageant could be true? Do you suppose that our sister could be from that man·if that story is true?"

"I have no idea whatsoever", I replied wearily. "This is all too much for me."

"Well here is what I think," Irene continued. "I think that our grandparents took the child from Julie and adopted her out because they believed that Julie would not live to raise the child. Doctors had stated that Julie would not live beyond the age of eighteen. Therefore, I believe she must have been somewhere between the ages of sixteen and eighteen when this baby was born."

"That would make sense," Marilyn answered.

"Further more," Irene continued, "This all happened during those good old Catholic guilt days when the worst fate that could befall a young woman was to bear a child out of wedlock. It is likely our grandparents adopted out the child in order to protect Julie's reputation. I think that these ideas I share are likely to be good reason for the adoption of this baby."

"This is possibly true, Irene," I interrupted. "However, it still does not explain to me how my mother could be so uncaring as to adopt out two children in her lifetime? That is what upsets me. I am being subjected to a side of Mom's nature I never dreamed possible."

"We understand that," Pat said. His voice surprised me for this was the first time he had spoken since I had been subjected to the news of my other sister's existence.

"I'm sorry Pat. I didn't mean to ignore you and leave you out of this conversation," I said apologetically.

"No problem, " he replied. "I have always said you learn more by listening than speaking. Wally, I knew Julia very well and I loved her greatly. Forgive me for saying this but I think you are being very unfair to your mother because you are failing to understand what she experienced back then. You feel betrayed because you have discovered you have a sister you were never told about. Have you, however, stopped to consider why your mother held this information from you? Have you?" he asked.

"No, I haven't thought about that yet," I confessed. "I'm still in a state of shock over all of this."

"She obviously did not tell you because she was fearful that you would not love her if you were aware of these facts. When I say 'facts' I am also referring to the fact that Julie had never discussed Marilyn's illegitimacy with you either. From all I have heard about you as a child, you were a very moralistic and up righteous young boy."

"Amen to that!" Marilyn stated with a laugh.

"I second that motion!" Irene answered with a cackle while rolling her eyes backwards in her head. "Julie was protecting you and also protecting herself. She was afraid that you would fail to be understanding of her situations and in your lack of compassion you would reject her from your life. She was fearful of losing your love. Obviously, she was ashamed of these situations that had happened in her past. I knew her very well and I know in all certainty that she was one of the most loving and good persons one could ever hope to know.  I think you are failing to remember all that was good and wonderful about her. I believe that you are so upset by this news that you are failing to think clearly and are therefore jumping to conclusions far too quickly. We all have skeletons in our closets, Wally. Julie was trying to hide her indiscretions from you. Just by the fact that she was ashamed shove prove to you she had decency."

"Also, don't forget how pretty Mama was, Wally," Marilyn interrupted. "Naturally boys would have gone head over heels for her when she was a young girl."

"And during those backward days kids knew little if anything about how children were conceived," Irene added. "Sex was something that was never discussed between parents and child. God knows Grandpa and Grandma Cardoza would never have brought up the subject!" Irene laughed.

For a short while we four sat in silence. It seemed as if my friends could no longer find words to comfort me.

"What are you thinking?' Pat asked. "You look as if you are off in some other world."

Pat was right. My mind was off in another world, or at least I was thinking backwards into another time.

"I was thinking about Reverend Pearl Shannon," I answered.

"What about Pearl?" Pat asked. "Who is Reverend Pearl Shannon?" Marilyn asked.

"Pearl Shannon died a few years ago. She was a psychic friend of ours."

"Why has she come to your mind now?" Pat asked me.

"Pat, do you remember back when we lived on Divisadero Street in San Francisco? Do you remember that day, I think it was in 1964, when I went to Pearl for my first psychic reading with her?"

"Yes, I remember that day," Pat replied. "What about it?"

I laughed. "Well, that day she told me that I had two living sisters. I told her that she was both right and wrong regarding her psychic impression. I explained to her about Marilyn's birth five years before mine. After that I told her about our sister Priscilla's birth in 1942, the year before I was born.

'Priscilla only lived a few short months. She died from Peritonitis, Pearl,' I explained. 'You are correct that I did have two sisters but one sister died. Only Marilyn is left now.'

'No, you re wrong,' Pearl insisted. 'Dr. Stafford is certain there are two living sisters,'she stated."

"Wait. I'm confused. Who is Dr. Stafford?" Marilyn asked.

"He was Reverend Pearl's spirit guide," I answered. "Dr. Stafford was an 18th century physician who had died and Pearl had the psychic ability to communicate with him on the other side. He related information to her told from those who had died."

"This is getting too spooky for me!" my cousin Irene stated.

Knowing that our guests were uncomfortable with the subject of our conversation I decided to drop our discussion and return to matters more comfortable for them. "Sorry, it just happened to be what I was thinking about. Pat asked and so I shared it. Let's talk about something else," I stated.

"Are you two are coming to the family reunion next week?" Marilyn asked. This reunion was being held on the first day of July at Lincoln Park in Tracy, California.

"Yes, we will be there," I answered.

Pat looked at me as if questioning my reply then stated, "I thought you said that you didn't want to go to the reunion."

"I didn't, but I have changed my mind," I replied.

"But why? he asked. 

"Because I want to question some of my relatives about this unknown sister. All my remaining aunts and uncles will be there. Somebody has to know something about her."

"You have got to keep Connie out of this. She would really be mad at me if she knew I told you anything about this. Please don't stir up any trouble. I'm sure none of our relatives knows anything about the birth of our sister," Marilyn stated. "If anybody knew about her we would have heard something long before now. I think the secret regarding her birth died when Grandma and Grandpa did. If anyone knew, they knew. If any of our other relatives knew about her they would have said something about her long before now."

"Perhaps they would. Perhaps they wouldn't. I have to search and find out what I can for myself. We will be at the reunion," I stated firmly. "I have to be there. I have to do what I can to try and find her. I promise you I will be as discreet as possible."

It had been a long and trying evening. Not long after my final comments our guests excused them selves and departed for home.    

That night I crawled into my bed in a state of total exhaustion. However, I was so emotionally upset that I could not sleep at all. I wanted the relief that tears could bring me but I was so angry that my mother had betrayed me that I could not cry. I tossed and turned hoping to find sleep but it would not come. I left my bed at 4:00 AM and went outside to sit by the pool. It was a warm summer's morning and I watched as the stars and the Moon reflected upon the water.

"You were correct, Reverend Pearl," I whispered, as I looked upward into Heaven as if Pearl Shannon were watching me below. "I do have two living sisters·just as you said." "How could I have ever doubted that you, of all people, could have been wrong?" My thoughts then turned to Gina Cerminara who had died on April 16th of 1984, nine years earlier from this the day of my discovery. "Well Gina·I did it!" I whispered into the night air. "I finally solved The Gypsy's Riddle.

Tears for three
Then shall come to be
A blessed Magi
To comfort thee

What the Gypsy had prophesized were the losses of my mother's first three children. My second sister, Marilyn, was never to be raised by my mother, but rather by my mother's parents. It was in this way that Julie had lost this child. Priscilla, Mom's third child (by the same father as myself) had died in her infancy in 1942. Her first child, unknown to all of us, had either been taken, or willingly given away, at birth. I was the fourth child, the one The Gypsy referred to as 'The Magi', the Hebrew name for Astrologer.

"I finally solved the Gypsy's riddle Gina!" I said once again·but sadly. I thought to myself, I wish I never had. "Why did you keep the truth from me Mama? I asked. "Why didn't you tell me I had a sister, Grandma?" I scolded. "Did you know about her, Dad?" I questioned as I looked into the heavens above me trying to find my relative's faces amongst the stars in the sky. In my anger I was hoping to provoke their spirits but the only voices I conjured came from the frogs and crickets that lived in the forest that surrounded my home. 

"How do I find her?" I asked them. "Where do I begin? Is she still alive? Dear God, please help me. Where do I begin?'" No sooner had I asked these questions when I was startled by a voice speaking clearly within my head.

"You begin with the Ruler of The Third House," it said. 

I raised myself from my lounge chair and sat erect turning my body to see if someone was standing beside me? There was no one there. A chill ran down my spine.

"Gina was that you speaking to me?" I asked. There was no answer. "Pearl? Pearl, was that you?" I questioned. Again there was no reply.

Perhaps the voice I had heard was that of my imagination. I said to myself, or perhaps I was just very weary from a long and sleepless night?  I rose from my lounge and in my bare feet I cautiously made my way back towards my bedroom.

Midway there I once again heard that voice. Again it said, "You begin with The Ruler of The Third House!"

I stood very still, somewhat frightened because this time I was certain that I had indeed heard it. I took a deep breath to compose myself and then smiled as it finally occurred to me that is was my own voice that I was hearing.

"But of course that is where I will begin!" I answered myself. "How could I be so stupid? Of course, The Third House is exactly where to start! Why had I not thought of that from the beginning?" I hurriedly returned to my bedroom and began to do exactly what my inner voice had directed me to do.

 

To be continued·

 

Next

Part two

"The Reunion"

A mystery.

The true story of a search

 

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